Posts Tagged ‘Mike Jeffries’

A day for alienated children

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

How ironic that this year Parental Alienation Awareness Day falls the day after Easter Sunday and right in the middle of Passover — two holidays known for bringing families together.

Targeted parents who won’t be with their alienated children on the holidays this year can join other parents and children for the 6th Annual Parental Alienation Awareness Day on April 25. Events are scheduled in communities in 22 different countries. These family-friendly events include local dignitaries reading proclamations supporting parental alienation awareness, information tables and free brochures with details about about local parental alienation support groups and resources, and “Bubbles of Love,” a synchronized bubble blowing exercise.

The goal of Parental Alienation Awareness Day is to educate the public, legislators and legal and mental health professionals about parental alienation; a destructive family dynamic affecting countless children, parents and extended family members every year. In parental alienation one parent damages, and in some cases destroys, the previously normal, healthy relationship between a child and the child’s other parent.

“It’s bad enough that children have to pay the price when their parents divorce,” says Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation. “Parents should assure the children that both Mom and Dad still love them and will continue to take care of them — not drag the kids into the middle of the adult conflict and force them to choose sides.” 

Jeffries indicated that he will participate in the Parental Alienation Awareness Day Candlelight Vigil beginning at 6:30 p.m. at the Capital Building in Hartford, Connecticut. For more information about this event contact Ken Krajewski at 860-881-6311.

You can find information on other Parental Alienation Awareness Day events at http://www.paawarenessday.com/.

A Family’s Heartbreak author signs up for PAAO Conference

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, is joining other parental alienation experts on Saturday, May 21, 2011 at the DePaul Center in Chicago, Illinois to help educate parents, legal and mental health professionals about parental alienation. 

Jeffries will address participants at the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization (PAAO) conference, “The Painful Path of Parental Alienation and Visitation Interference.” Also speaking at the conference are Cook County Circuit Court Judge Michele Lowrance, the author of The Good Karma Divorce; Attorney Jame Pritikin, who recently helped Miami Heat star Dwayne Wade overcome the attempted alienation of his children; Dr. Michael Bone, a parental alienation expert who has spent the past 25 years dealing with high conflict divorce as a therapist, expert witness, mediator, evaluator and consultant; and Jill Egizii, PAAO President and author of The Look of Love.

“I’m thrilled to join such a great group of knowledgeable and passionate speakers as we help others understand parental alienation and examine strategies for addressing alienation both legally and therapeutically,” Jeffries said. “I’m also proud to support the PAAO. The organization does great work helping others deal with these very heartbreaking situations.”

The one-day conference begins at 9:00 a.m. in Conference Room 8005 at the DePaul Center in Chicago. The cost is $50 for non-PAAO members and $25 for CRC Illinois PAAO members. Participants can register online at www.paawareness.org/2011PAAOChicagoConference/or by mail with a check to Jill Egizii/PAAO at 1645 W. Laurel Street, Springfield, Illinois 62704.

The event is cosponsored by the DePaul Law Center. For more information on the conference you can visit, www.paawareness.org.

A Family’s Heartbreak celebrates anniversary with free copies

Sunday, March 27th, 2011

A Family’s Heartbreak, LLC. will give away free copies of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation to celebrate the book’s second anniversary of helping families understand and address parental alienation.

“It’s been a very gratifying two years,” explains author Mike Jeffries. “If you would have told me when I was writing A Family’s Heartbreak in the small apartment I moved to during the divorce that my words would reach parents in places as far away as the U.K., Canada, Israel, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and countless other countries I wouldn’t have believed it. It just goes to show how universal the problem of parental alienation is and how hungry parents, legal and mental health professionals are for objective information. So in honor of the book’s anniversary we’re going to give away ten copies of the book to the first ten people who write us via our website at http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com

Readers, including legal and mental health professionals, have raved about A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation in the two years since it’s publication. The American Journal of Family Therapy said, “this book should be required reading for any parent who is victimized by parental alienation as well as professionals who treat or evaluate alienation.” Virginia Gilbert, a marriage and family therapist, also said the book should be required reading, “for every graduate psychology and family therapy training program,” while Attorney David Pisarra from Men’s Family Law called the book, “an excellent exploration into the twisted ‘Wonderland’ that is parental alienation.”

“We’ve been honored that so many people have taken the time to read and respond positively to A Family’s Heartbreak,” Jeffries added, “that we want to give something back to start our third year on the market. Our giveaway is simple and sincere — the first 10 people to write me at mike@afamilysheartbreak.com will get a free copy of our book. We’ll even pay the postage. All the writer has to do is give us a name and a mailing address.”

A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation is the true story of one parent’s struggle to maintain a normal, loving relationship with his young son in the face of overwhelming odds. You can purchase the book at http://afamilysheartbreak.com, order it through any bookstore, or buy it at Amazon — http://www.amazon.com/Familys-Heartbreak-Introduction-Parental-Alienation/dp/0979696011/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1301246509&sr=1-1.

Alienation no more

Sunday, March 6th, 2011

Many readers of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation say the journal chapters, or diary approach, to describe my family’s descent into severe parental alienation are the most eye-opening and informative parts of the book. In these chapters you can literally watch my relationship with my son go from normal to non-existent in a few months.

When most parents write us they are looking for comfort or suggestions to help them deal with their own heartbreaking situations. That was the case with Carol. She was at the end of her rope in January — even questioning her own existence. Now, however, she is rebuilding her relationship with her daughter. Since many of you say the journal aproach in A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation helped you, we’ll let Carol tell you her story the same way.

January 24, 2011
I would like to report that I picked up my copy of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation from the book store yesterday morning after church. I finished reading it at 9:00 p.m. the same night. 

I am humbled that I am no longer alone as I walk down a road that no loving parent should ever know exits. A few weeks before my daughter’s departure from my life I was asked by my church to start training to be their deacon. Once she was gone, however, I not only questioned the existence of my God, but my very own existence. I now see that my daughter, just like myself, was never given the choice to be part of each other’s life. I raised her myself. I told her every day for 16 years how precious her life was. I still can’t believe this is happening.

January 26, 2011
I just called my daughter’s school. They’ve been poisoned like everyone else. I am escorted off the campus when I show up for my court-ordered visitation. The court order is not worth the paper it is printed on. My daughter’s father continues to violate it, and nothing ever happens to him.

I called because I wanted my daughter’s grades. They hung up. I called back and they put me on hold for five minutes. Then they told me they are not allowed to give me my daughter’s grades. I asked to speak to the principal. He was not available. I’m not holding my breath for the return call.

I feel so hopeless. I have been judged by dozens of people who know nothing about me. I have not spoken to my daughter in almost six months. The only two times I saw her I was handcuffed in the back seat of a police car. I do not have her phone number. I can’t email her. Now I cannot even call her school without being treated like the lowest form of life on this planet.

February 16, 2011
I went to court today. My ex continues to interfere with visitation. The judge told him that if he this situation continues he would go to jail for five months and have to pay a fine.

My ex brought my daughter to testify against me. She did not testify but instead she learned that that I have been fighting to see her for more than six months.

February 19, 2011
My ex did not block me from my daughter today. I called and it was the first conversation we had since August. Her attitude was disgusting. She said she didn’t want to see me. She told me I was an awful person. But she stayed on the phone for 18 minutes. When I told her I loved her she said, “I know.”  

February 22, 2011
Now that I finally have my daughter’s phone number I can call when I want. I called today and the phone went straight to voice mail. I hung up. My daughter immediately called back. The conversation was not as hostile as the last time we talked. I tried to keep her on the phone as long as possible. Eventually she said, “I don’t want to hang up on you but I have a lot of homework to do so I have to go.” I said ok.

February 28, 2011
My ex called my lawyer today and asked if I wanted to see my daughter this coming Saturday. Of course I said yes. I will finally get to spend time with her!

March 1, 2011
I called my daughter today. The call went to voice mail but she called back. This time, the conversation was just like the old days. She was sweet, wonderful, smart, funny, caring and courteous. And the most wonderful thing that happened. As we were getting ready to hang up, I said “I love you” and she said “I love you too.” Her entire life that was the way we always ended every single phone call. After we hung up I cried tears of joy. 

* * * *

Carol asked us to share her story on our A Family’s Heartbreak blog. She wrote, “So many times I wanted to give up and well-intentioned people told me to walk away. I couldn’t do that even though it was killing me inside. I want to be an inspiration for other parents going through this horrible nightmare. I want to let them know there is hope. I thought I had lost my daughter forever and that she would never want to see me again. I know we could regress in a split second, but I want to let other parents know that even during their bleakest hour that you are still in your child’s heart.”

Jeffries visits Men Matter Radio on February 25

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, visits the internet radio show Men Matter, on Friday, February 25 at 8:00 p.m. EST. Program host Dr. Kevin Maguire will interview Jeffries on issues surrounding parental alienation.

“Dr. Maguire is an alienated father who knows about the pain, hopelessness and frustration associated with parental alienation,” Jeffries said. “We have a lot in common with the listeners and I look forward to sharing the coping mechanisms I’ve used to help others live with their heartbreaking situations.”

Listeners can call into the program at 347-539-5024. They can also listen via the internet at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/syndicatednews/2011/02/26/men-matter-dr-kevin-maguire-and-guest. Jeffries also will be taking questions from listeners.

Spend Sunday night with Mike Jeffries

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, will visit the Internet radio show Co-Parenting Matters, this coming  Sunday, January 23, at 9:30 p.m. EST.

Co-Parenting Matters is a collaborative effort between CoParenting101.org, founded by former spouses Deesha Philyaw and Michael Thomas, and WeParent.com, a site devoted to African-American co-parents, founded by Talibah Mbonisi. Co-Parenting Matters routinely discusses issues such as communication, single parenting, divorce, finances, custody, dating, wellness and stepfamilies.

“The biggest weapon in the fight against parental alienation is summed up in the title of program,” Jeffries said. “Co-parenting not only matters, but if you have effective co-parenting you won’t have parental alienation. I’m looking forward to giving listeners enough information so they can keep the focus on co-parenting and hopefully keep parental alienation out of their family dynamics.”

Listeners can tune in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/coparentingmatters/2011/01/24/parental-alienation-a-familys-heartbreak.

Alienated parents champions, not victims

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

If you’ve read A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, you probably remember that we consider driving a car one of those simple daily activities that can turn an alienated parent’s day upside down. 

For most people, driving a car is a way to go from Point A to Point B. But alienated parents have their eyes on the road and their brains in the past. The longer the drive, the more an alienated parent’s thoughts can drift back to the relationship that was wrongfully stolen away. By the time an alienated parent arrives at his or her destination the anger, sadness, hopelessness, frustration and unfairness of parental alienation can potentially turn the parent’s mood and outlook from sunny and bright to dark and bleak.

Yesterday I was driving and thinking about my alienated son. Another year has passed without any change in our relationship. But before I could take that destructive stroll down parental alienation memory lane, We are the Champions by Queen, came on the radio. For the first time I listened to the lyrics not as an anthem for a championship team, but as an anthem for alienated parents:

I’ve paid my dues
Time after time
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I’ve come through
 
We are the champions, my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting – till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
Cause we are the champions – of the world.

Alienated parents are champions, not victims. Keep on fighting for your alienated children. You are the champions of parental alienation and the world.

Happy holidays from A Family’s Heartbreak, LLC.

Mike & Mike on the radio

Monday, November 15th, 2010

Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, will be the guest host on the internet radio program Family Matters on Wednesday, November 17 at 7:00 p.m. EST. Jeffries’ guest will be Dr. J. Michael Bone, parental alienation expert and consultant.

Family Matters is a show dedicated to discussing parental alienation, a destructive family dynamic affecting countless children, parents and extended family members every year.

“I’m looking forward to asking Dr. Bone about many of the developments he has seen over the years with respect to how parental alienation is perceived in the courts and among mental health professionals,” Jeffries said. “His article,  Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It was one of the earliest and most concise, easy-to-understand descriptions of what I was going through with my family.”

Jeffries is sitting in for regular host, author and Parental Alienation Awareness Organization President Jill Egizii. “I’m used to being interviewed, so it will be fun to ask the questions for a change,” he added.

Family Matters can be heard at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/syndicatednews/2010/11/18/family-matters–hosted-by-michael-jeffries-author-. The call-in phone number is 347-539-5024.

Raising awareness of alienation at the AACAP

Saturday, October 30th, 2010

Parental alienation professionals and advocates attended the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) annual meeting in New York City this week to discuss alienation with many of the 4,700 psychiatrists and physicians in attendence and explain why parental alienation belongs in the next edition of the profession’s DSM.

Dr.William Bernet, a professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Vanderbilt University School of Medicine and the primary author of Parental Alienation DSM-5 and ICD-11, presented at the meeting and the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization (PAAO) raised awareness of alienation in an exhibit hall booth. The PAAO exhibit featured books, DVDs and volunteers to discuss parental alienation with conference attendees. PAAO President Jill Egizii, PAAO Vice President Robert Samery, Dr. Amy Baker, and Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, were all on hand to pass out literature and talk about alienation with mental health professionals from around the world.

Also attending the conference were members of the DSM Review Board — the professionals who will decide whether or not parental alienation is included in the next edition of the DSM. Bernet indicated that the Review Board is still considering alienation for inclusion in the updated diagnostic manual. The DSM-5 is scheduled for release in 2013.

Jeffries observed that while some professionals had never heard of alienation, many others were familiar with the family dynamic. Still other professionals saw alienation in their practices without realizing the behaviors had a name. “The conversations were all over the map,” Jeffries said. “Some attendees wanted to talk about their cases. Other professionals wanted to discuss under what category the DSM-5 could potentially list parental alienation. One psychiatrist was even looking for guidance on who should receive the diagnostic code — the alienating parent, the targeted parent, or the child.”

Not every person who stopped by the PAAO booth wanted to see parental alienation in the DSM-5. “There was one psychiatrist who made it clear he didn’t believe in parental alieantion but he never actually completed a sentence or allowed me to complete one,” Jeffries said. “He said ‘parental alienation is a diagnosis in search of a…’ and then his voice trailed off. When I tried to say something positive, he cut me off with another incomplete, negative comment. Then he did it a third time. I finally told him to enjoy the rest of the conference. With 4,700 open-minded, articulate professionals to talk to there was no need to waste time on him.”

Themes of the alienating parent

Monday, October 11th, 2010

Some mental health professionals and religious leaders empower parental alienation according to Dr. Abe Worenklein, a professor at Dawson College in Montreal. 

Worenklein made his comments at the recent Canadian Symposium on Parental Alienation Syndrome in New York City. The conference drew approximately 200 parents, legal and mental health professional interested in helping parents and children maintain normal, healthy relationships after divorce or separation.

“Sometimes mental health professionals who do not know how to interview parents and children and are unfamiliar with the themes of the alienating parent acutally end up empowering the children and reinforcing the parent’s position,” Worenklein said. “Furthermore, some religious leaders may focus on the parents’ degree of religiosity when telling one parent to limit the less-observant parent’s time with the children.”

Worenklein explained that the themes of the alienating parent are the words and actions a parent uses to damage, and in some cases destroy, the child’s previously normal relationship with his or her other parent. Some of the themes include:

  • Denying the existence of the other parent by never talking about him or her, destroying photos of the parent, changing the subject when the child mentions the parent, or not relaying the parent’s messages to the child.
  • Putting the child in the middle by asking him or her to spy on the other parent, remove possessions or take important papers from the parent and child’s home.
  • Attacking the parent’s career, interests, hobbies and family.
  • Saying things like, “I just don’t know what’s wrong with your mother/father.”
  • Threatening to withhold love or acceptance from child.
  • Scaring the child into believing the other parent isn’t capable of taking care of him or her.
  • Creating a new reality for the child that excludes his or her relationship with the other parent.

Worenklein told conference attendees how professionals can use different interview techniques to identify these themes. “Dr. Worenklein pointed out that asking a young child at the beginning of an interview if the child has anything he or she was supposed to tell the professional is a great way at getting at the child’s rehearsed or programmed answers,” said Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation and a conference attendee. “This not only allows the professional to see if the child’s answers were programmed, but after fulfilling his or her obligation to the alienating parent the child can relax and participate much more honestly in the interview,” Jeffries added.

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