Posts Tagged ‘Father’s Day’

Unspoken truth comes from unlikely source

Saturday, May 11th, 2013

On Two and a Half Men the other night there was a touching scene, at least by Two and a Half Men standards, between long-time co-stars Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones that probably resonated with every divorced parent watching the program.

In reality, producers have demoted Jones and his character Jake to recurring status for the show’s upcoming 11th season. To explain his absence as a regular from the program, the writers have Jake, who is now in the Army, transferring to a base in Japan for one year. Before shipping out, Jake goes home one last time to see his Dad, Alan.

Father and son take a road trip and during the trip Jake admits that while he initially blamed Alan for the divorce from his Mom, he now realizes that the breakup wasn’t all Alan’s fault. Alan, touched by the gesture, thanked his son but indicated he wasn’t going to say anything bad about his ex-wife.  Jake replied, “Yea, but you probably hope I do.”

How many of us announce we are taking the high road by saying, “I’ll never say anything bad about Mom/Dad,” but secretly want the child to say something bad instead? Maybe we need a little validation or reassurance. Whatever the reason, if you’re honest you’ll admit you’ll take whatever putdown your child is willing to offer.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow. Father’s Day is next month. This year on Mother’s and Father’s Day give your children a present instead of expecting one. Don’t say anything bad about your ex, and don’t send them the unspoken message that you hope they say something bad instead.

Happy Father’s Day to Alienated Dads

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Holidays are tough for alienated parents — especially holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day that are designed to honor a place in our childrens’ lives that alienating parents and our alienated children refuse to recognize.

So with Father’s Day coming up, we wanted to post part of an article that Jeff Opperman wrote a few years ago for Lifesherpa.com.  The article is called, “A Father’s Day wish for the alienated dad.” 

Happy Father’s Day to all targeted fathers from A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation. We know you’d rather celebrate Father’s Day with your children, and we hope one year soon you will.

Here’s the excerpt from the article:

… My most heartfelt Father’s Day wishes go to the Dads who are victims of PAS. So Happy Father’s Day to the alienated Dad:

In the airport, may someone meet you with a big hug.

In the mall, may a toddler look up at you from a stroller and smile.

At a ballgame, may you catch a foul ball and enjoy giving the ball to the kid sitting closest to you.

At work, may you enjoy your job.

At the supermarket, may you get a group “thank you” from the Scout troupe for buying something you didn’t really need.

At home, may you have the information you need to order your child’s school picture; and the strength you need to keep the photo where you can see it.

On vacation, may you get through an entire chapter of your book without thinking about the child who refused to come with you.

Holding the remote control, may you come across actor Rick Schroeder in a rerun of NYPD Blue rather than The Champ.

Volunteering as a Big Brother, may you see signs of your positive influence.

Listening to the radio, may the station play Harry Chapin’s Cats in the Cradle and Will Smith’s Just the Two of Us when you’re out of the room.

Cooking dinner, may you have a reason to increase the ingredients of your favorite recipe.

Picking up the ringing phone, may you have a wonderful surprise on the other end of the line.

You can see posts from Jeff Opperman at our A Family’s Heartbreak Facebook page — http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/topic.php?uid=61789494087&topic=9887

You can read the complete article, A Father’s Day wish for the alienated Dad at http://www.lifesherpa.com/magazine/life-journeys/2003-06-opperman-alienated.htm

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