Unspoken truth comes from unlikely source

On Two and a Half Men the other night there was a touching scene, at least by Two and a Half Men standards, between long-time co-stars Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones that probably resonated with every divorced parent watching the program.

In reality, producers have demoted Jones and his character Jake to recurring status for the show’s upcoming 11th season. To explain his absence as a regular from the program, the writers have Jake, who is now in the Army, transferring to a base in Japan for one year. Before shipping out, Jake goes home one last time to see his Dad, Alan.

Father and son take a road trip and during the trip Jake admits that while he initially blamed Alan for the divorce from his Mom, he now realizes that the breakup wasn’t all Alan’s fault. Alan, touched by the gesture, thanked his son but indicated he wasn’t going to say anything bad about his ex-wife.  Jake replied, “Yea, but you probably hope I do.”

How many of us announce we are taking the high road by saying, “I’ll never say anything bad about Mom/Dad,” but secretly want the child to say something bad instead? Maybe we need a little validation or reassurance. Whatever the reason, if you’re honest you’ll admit you’ll take whatever putdown your child is willing to offer.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow. Father’s Day is next month. This year on Mother’s and Father’s Day give your children a present instead of expecting one. Don’t say anything bad about your ex, and don’t send them the unspoken message that you hope they say something bad instead.

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2 Responses to “Unspoken truth comes from unlikely source”

  1. Tim Johnston says:

    Fathers Day and my Sons birthday are always a bit sad for me. I wish I could live with and spend all day and every day with my only Son Kai. He and I live in Japan and live near each other in Narita, Chiba.

    In Japan, Fathers have few rights, if any…..In my case, I have none. In which, I fight the Japanese Government to gain equal rights in hopes they will change their laws. Japan is set to sign the Hague convention. The only G-8 nation to not have done it thus far.

    I stay in Japan in hopes, my Son will know his Father fought for him and wanted to be here to let me know he wasn’t left behind. His mother wanted me to leave to control and manipulate my son.

    I will always think and dream of Kai everyday. I vividly remember his first steps and those soft adorable cheeks. He was such a cute baby and has turned into such a cute boy. Kai will be 9 this month. I don’t know how much longer, I can live here in Japan. It’s a rigid, structured existence. The Laws are outdated and the Human and Children rights are absurd. North Korea might even grant more rights to loving parents?

    Happy Birthday, Kai Endo (Japan)
    Love You, Tim Johnston (Japan)

  2. Caroline says:

    Maybe an even better idea is to give your child some money so they can buy the other parent a gift for Mother’s/Father’s/Birthday/Holiday. This can send a powerful message to the child.

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