Archive for July, 2010

Jeffries survives parental alienation and D.C. heat

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Every family has its own jokes that get repeated year after year whenever the family gathers. My family is no different.

One of the jokes in our family revolves around my Dad and his encyclopedia-like knowledge of roads, highways and mileage. No matter where I’ve traveled, Dad asks about the route. More often than not, he tells me I could have taken a shorter, faster, safer, more scenic route– complete with a list of the fast food restaurants and tourist attractions I would have passed along the way. The fact that Dad may have never been within 500 miles of my destination doesn’t matter.

It isn’t often a son gets to stand where presidents have addressed millions and deliver a speech, but I recently did just that at the 2010 Family Preservation Festival in Washington D.C. On the day I spoke about surviving parental alienation the temperature was approximately 115 degrees. Festival participants were more interested in surviving the heat so attendance was sparse. That’s okay. I had the U.S. Capital behind me and the Washington Monument in front of me. I started my speech with an inside joke to Dad and the rest of the family. Only about one dozen people in the world would have understood it, until now.

To hear my little family joke and how I’ve survived parental alienation please click on the links below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc9XTQw582g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfGmE_o2EFo

Time marches on

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

In A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, there’s a story about my alienated son refusing to attend a New York Yankees baseball game because, well, he was alienated. 

His rejection that night hit me especially hard because the New York Yankees and Yankee Stadium is something my Dad shared with me, and something I wanted to share with my sons. Dad took me to my first Yankees’ game at the pre-renovated “old” stadium in the 1960s. I wanted to give my sons the same fond memories of attending a game with their Dad that my Dad gave me.

George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees, died today. The Boss’ death comes two days after the death of long-time Yankee Stadium public address announcer Bob Sheppard. The House that Ruth Built is also gone — replaced last year by a “new” Yankee Stadium.

As alienated parents we often think of our children as if time stands still. We picture them as they looked the last time we were together. In our minds, they have the same friends and interests too. We’re well aware that months, and even years, have passed since we’ve seen them, but a small part of us wants to believe that one day we can pick up right where we left off.

Father Time constantly reminds us that nothing stays the same. Today George Steinbrenner entered the ranks of Yankees mythology. We’ll talk about him in the past tense — just like we talk about Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio and Mantle. Maybe one day I’ll attend a game with my son and tell him how I was sitting in the stands at the Old Timer’s Game when George brought Billy back, but it won’t be the same. The Boss is gone. The old stadium is gone. My son’s childhood is gone. Time marches on.

Mr. Jeffries goes to Washington

Friday, July 9th, 2010

Mike Jeffries, author of A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation, will talk about surviving parental alienation later this month at two family-focused events in Washington D.C. 

Jeffries will first address participants of the D.C. Family Preservation Rally Fest 2010 on Saturday, July 23 at 1:00 p.m. Jeffries will then move over to the Family Preservation Festival. The author’s appearance at the second event is scheduled for 3:o0 p.m. the same day.

Both events are located within walking distance of each other in downtown Washington D.C. The Rally Fest 2010 event is at the beginning of the National Mall between the Capital and the Capital Reflecting Pool. The Fesitival is in Upper Senate Park. 

“I am thrilled to address both groups because everyone involved in these events are dedicated to raising the visibility of parental alienation,” Jeffries said. “In addition, many of the participants are alienated parents who would much rather be spending the summer weekend with their children. We hope we can help them deal with their status as targeted parents so they will be ready when their children reach out to them.”

Jeffries will also be at Cosi Restaurant on Friday evening at 8:00 p.m. signing copies of his book, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation. Cosi is located at 1700 Pennslyvania Ave. N.W.

The signs of future alienating behavior

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

Long before an alienating parent starts badmouthing the other parent in front of the child, or disrupting the other parent’s time with the child, he or she sends signals that parental alienation may one day become a reality for the family.

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of Elian Gonzalez’s return to Cuba. You remember Elian. He was five years old when a fisherman found him bobbing around the Atlantic Ocean in an inner tube. His Mom and others died in the waters off the Florida coast trying to reach the United States from Cuba. His family in Miami wanted to keep Elian in the U.S. — despite the wishes of his father in Cuba. Presidential candidates George W. Bush and Al Gore even got involved in the debate, and a SWAT team and INS agents had to pry Elian loose from his relatives’ custody so he could return to Cuba and his Dad.

A conversation with my future ex-wife about the Elian Gonzalez situation was one of my first signs that I would one day lose my relationship with my son. I missed the sign until yesterday — when I read that Elian said he is thankful for spending the last ten years with his father. But that’s the funny thing about signs — they are all around us. In my most recent Basil & Spice blog at http://www.basilandspice.com/love-and-relationships/72010-cubas-poster-boy-for-parental-alienation-elian-gonzale.html I explain how future alienated parents can miss the obvious.

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